It belongs to me

I discovered Somethng about my ED. Or maybe it's Somethng I already knew and I just tuned in to it. I know why my disorder has been so out of control. Because I was letting out emotions. I was sharing my feelings with my partner, And that felt so strange, so out of control. And when I stuff my emotions inside me, when I don't share how I feel, when I keep my guard up, my ED is "under control", because I starve myself, and I control my feelings, my food intake, my emotions.  My anorexia is my strength, my bouts of purging is my weakness...