Omissions are lies...they are deceitful betrayals. Whether or not a question was asked and given an answer, when you withhold information from someone else purposely, that is a betrayal...and by default...a lie.
A few days ago my best friend and I were talking about our ED...
We know how to be good little girls, stuff all our emotions inside, be polite and pretend to give a fuck and no body would ever know the difference, because we are "good little girls."
But we really aren't, since we stuff and hide all those emotions inside, we starve, we are little whores who fucked around way too many times and no one would ever know everything inside us. Ahhh, yes, but we are the EMOTIONALLY unstable ones. Because you don't know why we are who we are, because we keep it bottled up inside. We keep in control of the emotions we can't let out by starving ourselves. She and I, we know each other really well. Really, really well.
And we talked about Omissions.
Betrayals...
WHY THE FUCK? Why are you such a DISHONEST PERSON that you have to LIE.
And she and I both agree, (of course, we agree on most everything!)
The guy I'm "seeing"...he and his Best Friend, one of his exes, have the same type of friendship a lot of us have, I'll talk to you, you'll talk to me, if you annoy me, I'll take a break, and so it goes.
My best friend and I talk every day. Both my best friends and I, talk or text every day. So, the guy I'm "seeing" says to me "No she and I aren't talking because A WHILE AGO she said something and I didn't want to hear it so, you know, I haven't spoken to her in A WHILE."
So, last night I find out, that's a LIE, an OMISSION, a NOT TRUTH. And to be honest, I could give a fucking rat's furry behind who, when and what he talks to. I DO NOT CARE. I do not expect anything from anyone, I do not demand anything from anyone and I DO NOT TRUST.
Problem is I trusted.
And I found out, straight from his "best friend's" mouth
"Oh yeah, creepy Bill, yeah, I texted him and told him, Yeah I heard you went to this polyamory thing and hit on (Insert name of guy I'm currently fucking)'s girlfriend". And she knew great detail about something that concerned me that she would only know if, yup, that's right, HAD THE OMISSION NOT BEEN TOLD TO ME!
FUCK ME IN THE ASS! Something she could not have known if HE had REALLY, REALLY NOT OMITTED THE FACT THAT HE AND SHE WERE ACTUALLY TALKING.
WHY THE FUCK OMIT THAT?
And then, comments come aout about things that there is no way she could have known unless HE ACTUALLY TOLD HER! Vacation, dogs, kids, parents, little things that come up in conversations between friends that are part of life that you share with your friends, which is completely normal, that;s why you're friends but on the other hand why OMIT to the person you're currently fucking? unless the person you are currently fucking isn't worth a fucking DAMNED FUCK because your "best friend" is way more important. Huh, lookie lookie,
So my question to my girlfriend, the one who knows how to be a "good little girl", is WHY THE FUCK OMIT THAT? Why are you Pretending you aren't sharing every single thing in your life with someone else? What's the bug fucking deal? What's the big deal??????
So, if you omit that, what else are you omitting??? TAN TAN TAN!!!
My point to her, which she completely got, of course, wasn't the fact that there is a friendship, big fucking deal, we both know our 'relationship" and I too have male friends, close, intimate male friends with whom I share things, that's not the point, the point is: He keeps saying "don't ever lie to me because I don't want to feel betrayed", R E A L L Y??
Maybe because you KNOW you're omitting information and therefore are concerned that someone else would omit information from you?
You don't think an Omission is the same as a lie? Especially when you go out of your way to say "OH WE HAVEN'T SPOKEN IN THIS MUCH TIME" and it turns out that facts about my life are being discussed to such and extent that third parties are being discussed and you want to OMIT that fact?
I don't OMIT anything, as a matter of fact, I was Fucking stupid enough to tell things I didn't have to tell him just because I never wanted him to think I was ever Hiding anything.
And what was really fucking ADORABLE was that it alllllllll came out last night, in the conversation, no big deal, but IT ENDED UP COMING OUT. Cute little conversations between two friends who; one I trusted because he told me "Oh, she was giving me bullshit SO I HAVEN"T SPOKEN TO HER IN A WHILE" and It was a LIE.
And like my ED friend and I discuss, we keep it all bottled up inside and put on your good little girl faces and smile and talk and you will never, ever know that I just heard you say something that wasn't exactly THE TRUTH...
Why do you fucking have to lie? Haven't I given you everything inside my fucking soul and you LIE?
Because an OMISSION is a LIE...
No matter how you color it, paint it, sell it, or disguise it.
The problem with "TRUST" is that once you find out things aren't exactly what you've been told, it's really, really hard to look in someone's eyes and BELIEVE.
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