It's getting cold out there.

I wonder what it would be like to have someone hold my hand and say “Come on, let’s tackle this together.”

I’ve faced some intense and very scary situations along the path that lead me here and I can’t ever remember hearing that.

I believe I’ve steeled myself to doing things on my own because I’ve never had my hand held during times when I’ve needed it.  I’ve never felt the warmth and safety of a hand to make mine stronger.

When I look back at the difficult times in my life, I can’t think of anyone I can rely on who would have been strong enough to have held my hand, given mine a squeeze and have made me feel protected.

And I’ve learned to face things on my own without that comfort.

My hands are cold and they ache for the comfort of another one to warm them up, hold them tight and say “I've got you.”

I know they will always be cold.  Because the occasional “Hey, how are you doing today?” of a well-intentioned friend doesn’t bring warmth if it’s accompanied by the knowledge that they have their own hands to warm up.

I have faced everything I have been given, I can face everything to come, I have grown accustomed to the cold. 

I wonder how it would feel if I could just entwine my fingers around the warm, comfortable strength of someone else’s and those fingers would squeeze mine tightly and take the edge off the cold...