“Between half and 90 percent of people with eating disorders have a mood, impulse control, or anxiety disorder that should also be treated in order to achieve successful recovery” (Facing an Eating Disorder as an Adult)
In relation to Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, a common ailment and/or sign that is seen in both eating disorders and OCD is the obsession and ritualistic behaviors that tends to be cyclic and incapacitating to the patient. In anorexia nervosa, the afflicted individuals will have unusual methods of eating, dieting and exercising to satisfy their compulsive obsession to keep weight off. According to Thorton & Russell (1997), anorexic individuals are much more likely to have a predisposition to acquiring anorexia nervosa from pre-existing OCD and in fact, almost 37% of anorexic patients have OCD. (OCD Chicago.org)
“Impulse control disorder”. Yup, Impulsive is my middle name. I jump first before thinking about where I’m going to land. Once I’m up in the air my brain starts to wonder how hard the surface will be when I land and how the jolt will feel on my knees. Impulsive, but aware that there are consequences to my impulsive actions, which I figure I’ll deal with after the fact. Yup, that’ll work.
I’ve started trying to add veggies to my “diet” of almonds and coffee. Bean sprouts and zucchini seem to work nicely. I’ve tried adding lentils; some days they work, some days they don’t. But then, along with adding food comes adding more time on the treadmill. Which ties into the OCD of this DISorder. Obsessive weighing has been replaced by obsessive exercising.
I obsess about a lot!
I carry hand sanitizer in my purse, in my car and on my desk. Germs are everywhere!
When I walk into a grocery store, I repeat over and over three things I need to buy to stop myself from thinking of the germs that have touched the cart I’m pushing. (Those handy-dandy sanitizing wipes available at the door don’t seem to do much)
I can’t stand holding money. I don’t like the smell it leaves on my hands. I’ve tried to figure out if it is because of all the other hands that have touched the money before mine did, but no, it’s the smell. Money smells bad, (probably why I’ll never win the lottery!)
I obsess about smelling stuff. I cannot for the life of me hold a book, a magazine, a pamphlet, anything printed, in my hands and not HAVE to sniff it! I love smelling things, sharpened pencils, crayons, ammonia, flowers, the sea…anything.
I obsess about my iPhone. I’ve had it crash a few times and I’ve lost all the information on it and I don’t want anyone to touch it. I don’t sync it with my computer, I don’t let anyone add anything to it, and I don’t update it. Just leave it alone and we’ll all be fine.
I obsess about brushing my teeth.
And now that my brain has taken a vacation with the obsession with the scale, it’s now decided to obsess about running again.
This past weekend my daughter was home from college for a few days. She and I and her brothers, along with her “surrogate” mom and pop, all went out for dinner to her favorite Mexican restaurant. I thought I did well with dinner. No meat, no rice, no beans. Just tortilla chips and two flour tortillas (loaded with carbs!), guacamole (loaded with fat!), and salsa (loaded with guilt!). I thought I did ok, I was ignoring the carbs and the fat and the guilt and the anxiety to get home and brush my teeth. And when we got home, not only did I brush my teeth, but without a conscious thought in my pretty little obsessive brain, I put on my workout clothes and I got on the treadmill. I know exactly how much I have to run in order to work off anything I eat. So, I’m eating and not obsessing about the scale, I’m now obsessing about the treadmill. I’m just substituting one obsession for another.
“…OCD is the obsession and ritualistic behaviors that tends to be cyclic and incapacitating to the patient…”
I Am My Disorder…all of them.
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