I know who you are.

If you knew me, you’d know that I’ve been in love with the same person for almost 30 years.

If you knew me, you’d know that my soul hurts every day because I no longer have a family.

If you knew me, you’d know that my children are what keep me alive. That I was ready to kill myself and the sound of my childrens' footsteps are what kept me here.

If you knew me, you’d know that I live my life without judgment towards others. You’d know that I really am interested in who you are and you’d see that who am I am, isn’t based on what you think of me.

If you knew me, you’d know that my choices in life may not have been ones you approve of, but they made me who I am.

If you knew me, you’d know that I struggle with my spiritual beliefs. That I question every day what I was taught. That I know that the only thing I can do is live my life without malice in my heart and with forgiveness for past sins but never forgetting their results.

If you knew me, you’d know I have tried every drug available, I’ve slept around too much, I’ve smoked too much, I Am My Disorder, I’ve survived 11 years of physical abuse, I've stared down the barrel of a gun, I am the daughter of an alcoholic, I lived a lie for 16 years, I fought while others kept quiet, I stood alone in the snow, I watched a loved one die, and I love with a passion so deep that it requires no understanding, no meaning, nothing in return.

If you really knew me, could you look me in the face and not judge? 

Or would you see yourself in my eyes and hide from what you saw?