“Music is what feelings sound like.”

Fill your soul with music.

There is always music wherever I am. Sometimes it’s so loud I cannot hear myself think. Someone in this house either has earplugs blasting music, or is singing or is playing an instrument. My kids have inherited, from The Great Wide Open, a love and thirst for constant music.  Me, I can’t sing worth beans, but I like to pretend that I do.

I was blasting Good Charlotte this morning:

“Oh, jealousy, look what you’ve done.
You’ve got a hold of me, you’ve made me become,
Who I’d never be. And I’m running from,
This jealousy look what its done.”

I wonder about jealousy. Can you be jealous of someone or something if you know yourself?  If you love someone, can you be jealous of what other people mean to them? Can you be jealous of an ex in someone’s life? A close friend of someone you love? A way of life? Wouldn’t that mean you are putting conditions on how you love this person, whomever they may be?

Isn’t everyone you have loved part of you?  Doesn’t your past make you who you are, or who you chose to be? Why would you feel jealous of someone who as helped make the person you love who they are now?

Jealous. Of what? Of things? Of someone having something more, something better, bigger, nicer?

Why? They are just things. And things mean nothing. They are useless and cumbersome; when they're gone you are left with nothing, except yourself and who you know you are.

If you really love someone, deep down in your soul, wouldn’t you love the parts of them that are meaningful to them? How can you have jealousy in your soul for someone who made the one you love just that; The One You love?

Why would you make them give that up and pretend it didn’t exist? Why would you make someone chose between you having them in your life and someone they think they need, or love, or want?  Doesn’t that then make you selfish?

Love because you just love. Because it just is. Without conditions, without expecting anything back, without jealousy, without demands, with your entire soul. 

And don’t get lost along the way…

“In jealousy there is more of self-love than love.” François de la Rochefoucauld